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Top Tuesday - The 10 worst video games ever.


It should go without saying that I love video games. And I'm quite confident that the majority of you reading this also love video games, else why would you be here? Video games have given me some great life experiences. Whether it was joyful, poignant, stressful or rapturous, the medium has been, by and large, a satisfactory experience.

On the flipside, the things that you love the most, are also the things that can hurt you the most. Which is just an unnecessarily complicated way of saying that there are really, really bad games out there and they'll make you feel bad. Since I'm a civic minded fellow, I've compiled a list of these aberrations so that you don't ever have to play them yourself.

10. Survivor

People actually made a video game based on the popular TV Series, Survivor. It was made by Magic Lantern in 2001 and received a metacritic score of 26/100, and for once we can trust that score. Players assume the role of one of the 32 cast members who participated in either the Pulau Tiga or Australian Outback Survivor Series. Maybe this was the beginning of survival MMO's?

9. Daikatana (PC)

It's not so much that Daikatana is a bad game, it's more that it's so overwhelmingly plebeian. Daikatana was supposed to be the game that cemented John Romero's legacy as a legendary game designer. Having come off the success of Doom and Quake, expectations for Daikatana were matched only by Romero's ambitions for the game. It would be the be all and end all of the first-person shooter. The best visuals, the best audio, the best gameplay. Simply the best.

But thanks to a myriad of delays, the seven month project ended up taking three years to get done and in that time, video game technology eclipsed what Romero's ION Storm was using. The result was a game so bloated with ordinary it practically had a house in the suburbs.

8. Charlie's Angels (GameCube, PlayStation 2)

This was one of the very first game's I ever reviewed professionally. It nearly ended my game writing career all by itself. Charlie's Angels is the exemplar of the movie cash in game. Not one line of code in this game was written with any love or passion. Everyone was simply phoning it in, with not a single person involved caring about what they put on the disc. I promise you, there isn't a CV anywhere in the world that has this game on it. Despite featuring the voice of Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore the game has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It plays bad, looks bad, sounds bad. It is beyond terrible.

7. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Atari 2600)

Speaking of trashy movie-to-games adaptations, the tradition of bad movie tie-ins starts with E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Made for the Atari 2600, the developers rightly assumed the movie would be a huge hit. As such they rushed through production of the game - legend says the game was made in a mere five weeks - and manufactured five million units in anticipation of a sales blitz. Only 1.5 million were ever sold and many of those were returned, because the game was, to put it mildly, crap. Not knowing what to do with all those left over cartridges, Atari buried them all in New Mexico. True story.

6. Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor (Xbox 360)

The original Steel Battalion on the original Xbox is a modern classic. With it's huge custom designed controller, it remains one of the most unique games on any system. It's Xbox 360 sequel Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor thought to replicate the original uniqueness by having the Kinect stand in for the originals massive controller. Any guesses as to how well that worked out?

5. Yaris (Xbox 360)

A game based on the Toyota Yaris? Does that sound like a good idea? Some games are just destined to be bad. All this "game" was,was driving in a track shaped like a snowboarding half-pipe over and over again. You'd collect coins and defeat enemies and then use the collected coins to upgrade your Yaris so you could collect more coins. It's only redeeming feature was that it was free, but many would have paid to have it wiped from their memories.

4. Ashes Cricket 2013 (PC)

Games get cancelled for lots of different reasons, sometimes the concept just doesn't come together or the there are budget overruns or whatever. But Ashes Cricket 2013 is the only game I know of that was cancelled after it was released. That's right, Ashes Cricket 2013 was actually on sale for four days before the publisher, 505 Games, decided to pull it and offer full refunds to those that purchased it. If even the publisher thinks the game is rubbish, then it has to be especially rubbish.

3. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (PC)

Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing has the dubious honour of being the worst reviewed game ever on Metacritic and that's no accident. The game barely even qualifies as a game. It's an incomplete buggy mess of a game that has no clear goals or purpose. You get in a truck and and then make it drive. But why? Is it a racing game? A truck driving simulator? A crazy taxi clone? What? No one has any idea. But someone thought that would make a game worth selling. Someone was wrong.

2. Custer's Revenge (Atari 2600)

This is a game where you play as a white, naked cowboy and the goal is to rape a Native American women tied to a post. I shouldn't need to explain why that is bad.

1.Superman (Nintendo 64)

Look, I could explain to you why Superman on the Nintendo 64 is a terrible game, but nothing I could possibly say would match up to actually watching someone try and play this turd. Just have a look at the Angry Video Game Nerd's attempt at playing this game. If it doesn't bring you to tears, then it will at least kill you with laughter as you guffaw at his suffering. In either case, you will know that this is the worst game ever made.

What does your top 10 worst video games list look like?

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