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Watch 2800 people engage in a Deadly Space Battle of Doom


Last summer, I thought that it might be fun to dabble with 4chan (this story is going to break Rules 1 and 2, but tbh, I. Just. Don’t. Care). During this brief dalliance as a /b/ro I learned 2 things:

1. Three months of looking at what mostly amounts to hundreds and hundreds of penises is just really not that fun; and

2. Hanging out on /b/ too much turns you into a very horrible person.

Anyway, I retired from my position as a /b/tard. I tried 9gag, but got sad because of their refusal to allow those old and (le) tired memes to retain their dignity and die a peaceful death: a particularly traumatic incident of about 2 weeks ago involved an image of people performing the dance from “Gangnam Style” while wearing masks of Overly Attached Girlfriend’s face. Oh, and also, the 9gag Army isn’t actually a thing just so we’re clear.

Anyway, just as I began to fear that I would never find another Internet place to lurk in like an enormous creep, I discovered the greatness that is One of the things that I like about the place is that their Internet Missions are somewhat less cruel than those carried out by the trolls of /b/. It’s one thing to spend a pointless day using Youtube comments to trick people into believing that Skrillex is dead (small things and all that) and “Bald for Bieber” was pretty freaking hilarious, but at the same time yes, people are that dumb and it seems rather heartless to exploit said lack of intelligence for one’s own amusement.


Now I will finally tell how all of this relates to gaming and it even has cool movies and stuff which is always fun. According to Kotaku, yesterday Redditor “Itsatrapski” posted several images of an enormous and epic battle – involving somewhere in the region of 2800 players – that took place in the universe of space Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG), EVE Online.


An alliance of Redditors engaged the Goonswarm of Something Awful (who are apparently rather notorious in those circles) in full-frontal combat of the spaceship kind. What caused this virtual war? Apparently, boredom. quotes Redditor “videogameexpert” who wrote:

These two superpowers have been somewhat friends for 3 years, but relationships are getting strained. Also, some people just want to fight because they're bored.

RL, the battle translates into America (Reddit) vs Europe (Goonswarm), the spaceships representing the cities of each respective continent. And of course ‘Murica emerged victorious, because f*** yeah. Videogameexpert wrote:

So basically the US and Canada obliterated Paris. Europe sent in reinforcements but without a good strategy against an already prepared North America they were also crushed. Europe is now without 3 major cities and 10 or so minor ones. They still have plenty of resources left, but it was a great first strike. Especially since North America pretty much lost nothing.

I expected Canada to know better (after all, they are sort of like the USA’s wiser and more grown-up brother), but maybe it’s ok this time because it was only war for playplay.

Watch this video from Youtube userdeusexverra to see and enjoy the battle and also because explosions:


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