Whatever else you want to say about gaming, there is one thing you can rely on with 100%, uh, reliability: If you play Call of Duty on Xbox Live long enough, you will eventually play against that guy that slept with your mom. This is a true factual fact that is backed up by facts. And science.
And why would this 12-year old from Macomb County, Michigan in America lie to you? We all know that thanks to Microsoft's proprietary Xbox Live honesty algorithm, fomenting untruths and transmitting them across kilometers of undersea fibre optic cable is nigh on impossible.
So however it is that you need to reconcile it in you mind, the fact is that, Wayne Tobolosky - gamertag Hyp$layeR44 - from Mt. Clemens, Macomb County in Michigan is having a lurid affair with your mom. Yes, I know the entirety of the Atlantic ocean is between them, but it's still true. Just like it's true that he's an experienced hacker and that he will ban your account after he teabags you repeatedly, because you're a dirty camper. Also FYI, despite all appearances to the contrary, you are actually not causation and your girlfriend of the last three years isn't hiding the true fact that you are gay. Super gay, actually.
These are all true truths supported by facts and sciences of different disciplines that are spoken by online gamers the world over. For Example:
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