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Why it’s delicious to torture your Sims

by Stephanie Duchenne (Panda McBearface)  Posted Monday, March 11, 2013 11:44:00 AM

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Don’t try and take the moral high ground here, because there’s no such thing. If you’ve played the Sims, you know that at some point, the game gets boring and because it’s not any fun to just start a new one, you are pretty much obligated to torture your current Sim until it dies.

What’s the point of having omnipotent control over the life of a quasi-human if you don’t get to make its existence unbearably painful and horrifying? I don’t make the rules in this regard; it’s just how things are.

Just so we’re clear:

Screenshot-1323.jpg

Every single second of you Sim’s life up until that moment of ecstasy when what counts as its soul finally departs its broken and twisted body will consist of excruciating pain and humiliation. Your Sim will long for death, will beat its breast and cry out to the heavens, alternately cursing and pleading for mercy from the vengeful deity that denies him sleep, food; and more often than not, a change of underwear.

And the great thing about all of this is that I’m not even messed up because indulging in a bit of pain infliction on your Sim is a social norm, for realsies:

According to pcgamer.com, psychologists say that turning your Sim’s life into a world of pain is pretty much a result of human curiosity taking its natural course. So there you have it folks, a socially acceptable method of expressing your inner Sadist.

One of the most amusing and inventive methods of Sim Torture I had the good fortune to stumble upon is seen below. I have given it the title:

* The Eternal Maze*

theeternalmaze.jpg

The Anon behind this wonderfully twisted creation gave the following summary:

“The carpool will arrive in one hour”

>Sim takes 7 hours to reach street (running)

>Sim passes out twice, [micturates on] himself once along the way

> Finishes last hour of shift, heads home

> Walks the whole way back (+- 14 hour trip)

> Walks through the front door

“The carpool will arrive in one hour”

“What a delightfully Faustian scenario,” says this Panda (That’s me referring to myself in the third bearson).

I’m pretty sure that when we collate the above found data we can safely conclude that the human condition is something extremely screwed up and horrible. That being said, all of it is so much fun because it’s completely ok to look at your bruised and broken Sim and laugh maniacally, because Science says it’s completely normal.

Although in all honesty it’s difficult to argue moralistically because fantasy is how It all begins (ask any serial killer), maybe all of this is alright as long as one limits the expression of one’s baser and stabbier desires solely to violent acts on virtual beings as opposed to real ones. Either way, I’m going to try and burn my Sims to death every chance I get.

 

Stephanie's Twitter / MWEB Gamezone Twitter | Facebook

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Please note that the opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not MWEB Connect (Pty) Ltd



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Screenshot-1323.jpg  theeternalmaze.jpg 

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