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4 Simulator games that are terrible and shouldn't exist

by Stephanie Duchenne (Panda McBearface)  Posted Friday, January 04, 2013 12:49:00 PM

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I don’t know why these games exist and to be honest, I don’t think there is anyone who can actually explain why:

1. Desert Bus

It’s not fun, it’s not thought-provoking, it doesn’t require any skill and will generally turn your brain into a puddle of mush. It’s Desert Bus. The aim of the game is drive from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada; a distance of approximately 600 kilometres which takes place in real time. So yes, friends, yes: you will be driving this bus for 8 hours on a straight road where the scenery never changes and you are not allowed to stop or the game will end. This game was clearly invented by a sadist, but a kind and smart one:  Desert Bus was developed to troll politicians moaning about violence in videogames and yearly they hold the Desert Bus for Hope gaming marathon, the proceeds of which are donated to charity. So intelligent and benevolent sadist, we salute you, I guess.

 

2. Toilet Tycoon

What does one even say about this really? It’s a business simulator where, you guessed it, you make your millions by getting people to buy your toilets. You get to research mods and such so that you can put better quality toilets into buildings that need them and the resulting awfulness makes me want to kill myself.

 

3. Street Cleaning Simulator

Street Cleaning Simulator is a terrible game released by German company, Astragon, in 2011. Pretty much, you get to drive a street cleaning car around and clean streets and that’s it. The great thing about it is that it’s so awful that everyone plays it out of irony.

 

4. Forklift Truck Simulator

Oh Em Gee, I hate this so much. Why would you make a game about a forklift truck going about its day to day business of being a forklift truck? There isn’t any soundtrack, just the noises of the forklift truck being a forklift truck. If you actually bought this game, i.e. paid actual money to play this monstrosity, you are either a masochist or incredibly potato. Oh yes, you also get to choose from a selection of 3 different forklift trucks, but in all honesty, no one cares.

I'm not sure if I am saddened or horrified that I have only touched the tip of the iceberg with this article. As a postscript, I do apologise if I have offended any bus driving/ toilet modding/ street cleaning/ forklifting fanboys; even though I suspect that there are very few of those (if actually any), with my disdain for these "games" as an actual genre.

 

 Stephanie's Twitter | MWEB GameZone

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Please note that the opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not MWEB Connect (Pty) Ltd



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