Even though I try really hard, I am still mostly a pseudo-geek and although that makes me sad, I still get to be excited by novelty technological thingies. I don’t even get mad when they break after 2 minutes as long as they are shiny and pretty and look like they do things that are kewl. I thus present you with a “sort-of-belated-birthday-too-garishly-early-for-Christmas” Christmas wish list of geeky girl-gamerish things that have pleased me over the past day or so (some of them aren’t that geeky or gamery in all honesty, but just man up and live with it). I also have to point out that most of the internet thinks that girls only play Pokemon or Portal and would only ever like presents related to those games. Thus, with a deep sense of irony, I present you with the first item on my list:
1. Pokeball BFF friendship necklaces
I'll be honest. I didn't have the patience to finish the games and catch them all (even though I'm pretty sure that it's statistically impossible and even if it isn't, it is because I said so). Despite all of that, these Friendship Necklaces from LicketyCut are amazing and me and Kirsten need them for all the reasons.
Find them on LicketyCut's etsy store here.
2. Rainbow Dash Footie Pyjamas
I am somewhat ambivalent towards the Bronies, but these pyjamas are just so freaking whimsical and adorable that I had to include them. Their ergonomic amenities include the fact that the feet are detachable, allowing for temperature-controlled sleep. The only issue I have with these is that they don’t have that little flap at the back that allows one to be both pooping and warm, but they still make the perfect gift for someone like me who needs to spend their life dressed as a cartoon character in order to be happy.
Find these jammies here
3. Hats for Cats
My ambition is life is to grow old and be a crazy cat lady with egg yolk on her cardigan. I currently own three cats (so I’m clearly off to a good start) and I tell myself daily that their outward appearance of hatred and contempt towards my person is only a result of the fact that their love for me is so great that they feel slightly awkward about it and so they act stand-offish because they don’t know how to tell me that they want me to cradle them in my arms and bite their furry tummies softly in the way that I would eat a mielie. Psychological analyses of their behaviour aside, I found these teeny weeny hats for cats at Etsy and they made my face :333333.
I have no emoticon to illustrate the excitement that this little nautical number evokes within me.
This little man is so furry and sophisticated that it’s almost too much for me to bear. LOOK AT HIM AND FEEL ALL THE FEELS :3
4. Hats for ME
This crochet Mario beanie evokes memories of my childhood ( I was raised during the halcyon days of gaming cartridges). Super Mario was the first console game I ever played and the fact that I have the opportunity to have my head kept warm by this little 8-bit man's hat pleases me immensely.
Find Mario's hand-made hat here
5a) An Inflatable Minigun Arm
I am a HUGE fan of things that you can hit people with while making noises like “grrrshhh”/ “krrreishhhh”/ “shrmashhhhgrrrkkssshhh”, so you can imagine my excitement when I found this inflatable minigun arm. Let’s be honest, what’s not to like? Even though I am 28 and a grown-up, all I really want to do is battle everyone to the death using things that provide the opportunity for me to indulge in the usage of afore-mentioned onomatopoeia.
Find this awesome doohickey here
5b) And also, Hulk Smash Hands
Why do I need these? See the reasons listed in the previous paragraph BUT add the immense satisfaction of having two freaking awesome giant green hands that shall be used to re-enact well co-ordinated fight scenes on my brother, both to exercise my arms and become strong and because of the immense amusement provided by the all the sad his life will become as a result of incessant punchings. Lifetrolls for the win!
Anyone that wishes to aid me in my quest to be annoying and has R2000 to spare can find these babies here
6. Unicorn Mask
“I don’t want to go to work wearing a unicorn’s face”, said nobody, never. This magical mask allows the wearer to experience life through the eyes of a mythical, majestic horse/narwhal hybrid and in all honesty I don’t think that one can say that they have truly lived without knowing these feels.
Find it at here
7. Motherboard Ring
This piece of jewellry from Etsy will make me both look pretty and smart because it is a small piece of science on my finger. It also has Green credentials as ReComputing make all their accessories from old computer parts (in case you hadn't guessed from the name). Help me re-inforce my gamer identity and increase my IQ by proving that I both use and know what a motherboard is irl.
8. A Remote-controlled Flying Shark
This is a shark. This shark can fly. I would use this shark to transport various items around my house by attaching a small hanging basket to his tail because this will please me. There is nothing quite so empowering as using the ultimate predator to bring you a slice of cheese from the kitchen. AND HE CAN FLY. I know I’ve already mentioned that, but really, it’s almost too much for my tiny mind to handle.
Find all the awesomeness that is this flying predator here
PandaMcBearface and MWEBGMZ on Twitter because it’s nearly Christmas and the more the merrier.