By Panda McBearface
at Tuesday, January 22, 2013 8:07:00 AM
Last week I wrote about the fact that men selling pink stuff to gamer girlz is incredibly stupid and due to their guilty consciences (possibly) a few men got defensive about the things I said. So in order to sort of level the playing field as it were, today I will show you things that men sell to men that are incredibly stupid (basically the man-hatred is still there but now I’ve moaned for both genders so I’m doing my civic duty in promoting equal rights). Here are some of the most embarrassing gamer T-shirts I could find:
1. “World’s greatest gamer dad”
Firstly, the two variables do not compute. Secondly, aside from being incredibly the statement is both extremely arrogant and also libellous when you consider that there are probably many other “gamer dadz” out there wearing the same thing. This is false advertising and extremely unacceptable. The third problem I have with this is that there is no benchmark for what constitutes being the world’s greatest gamer dad so really, just no.
2. “Gamers make better lovers, they know all the right buttons”
In a perfect world, any shirt that contains extremely lame sexual innuendo of this sort would be banned. Wearing a shirt like this makes you look:
a) Stupid; and
b) Like a MASSIVE douche.
Also, c) Puns like this will make girls groan, but because of the immense physical and psychic pain that awful, awful puns like this inspire (as opposed to groaning from all the sex you will be giving them as a result of wearing this).
3. “Game over”
While I approve of the fact that the dad in this picture seems to being helping his wife out with changing nappies and whatnot; I am extremely irritated by the implication that his life is now over. As far as I know, it takes a man and a woman to make a baby, so what did this guy think he was doing when he engaged in coitus with the intent of reproducing? Stupid.
Here’s the thing: NOBODY ACTUALLY CARES.
Anyway, labelling yourself forces you into social roles and compartments that just suck. Don’t do it.
5. “Will game for food”
Thanks for wearing this shirt and perpetuating the stereotype of gamers as being penniless losers who do nothing but eat Doritos, have pimples and live in their mother’s basement. Well done guy. Well played.
I think what we have learnt today is that men shouldn’t market stuff ever, because they are silly. Also, if you own one of these T-shirts or any T-shirt similar in nature, you should probably burn it.
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